Sometimes removing the past is like ripping a bullet out of your heart
Its incredible how such simple acts can emotionally drain a human being. Despite our durability in the physical realm, sometimes our mentality and emotions are weaker.
I performed the action of cutting ties from somebody, so that I can relinquish myself from the past and look toward the future. As one cannot step into the future while holding onto the past.
People don’t always end up being the way they appear to be at the given moment. People change, or perhaps their true colours appear. Don’t ever get comfortable with people disrespecting you. And stop making somebody a priority who only sees you as a “by the way option”.
I think the biggest problem people have is holding on for far too long to something or someone that hurts them. We hold on even though we know in our hearts and souls that this thing is bad for us. I know I made that mistake. Hopefully I’m wiser because of the experience.
I wonder now:
What does the future hold?
What do I deserve?
What does anybody?
I think we deserve what we feel we do. And we receive it too.
If we feel we deserve shit in our life…we will receive it. That is the thought that we are sending out into the world. And so that is what we will receive. Why do some people feel they deserve bad things or perhaps nothing at all?
Perhaps it’s different for everyone.
Personally, I guess I do not expect good things to happen to me. I don’t expect it when people are genuinely nice or caring towards me. Or offer me gifts. Or perform kind favors towards me. Or when I receive strokes of good fortune. It feels foreign and discomforting to me.
I feel as though I’m here for other people. Not the other way around.
Perhaps that thought will change perhaps it won’t.
But what does need to change is the idea that I do not deserve good things. Because its simply untrue. I’ve done a lot in my life to deserve the best. Why would I settle for any less than the best. I owe it to myself. As I do respect and love myself why would I not want the best. I guess I’m also lucky to have good friends who support me. Extremely lucky.
I intend from this day forward to expect the best of all situations instead of the worst. I wish to be pleasantly surprised when I start noticing the abundance that arrives with this change of attitude. I’ve always believed that my attitude towards the world will shape the world’s attitude towards myself. If I look positively towards it, then I believe in my heart that good things will come my way.
I will continue to work hard and become a better man of course. But I will have more positive outlooks on my efforts.